I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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