They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
