Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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