No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I want her autograph on my taint
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize