Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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