no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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