somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
