so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
