I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
