is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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