I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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