remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
