i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
