whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
