So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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