nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
