party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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