But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just fell off a train. Bad.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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