I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
