Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
how does that bad decision feel?
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