yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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