my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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