All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
