It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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