my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
