Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
