i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
