the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
