I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
