I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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