i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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