I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
