Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
