Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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