went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
