Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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