11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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