I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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