Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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