i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
