You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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