we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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