do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
