By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I came so hard my ears popped.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
