I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
