Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
