i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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