And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
