There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
