Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
