Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
whose parrot is this?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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