3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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