please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's