i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
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it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.