Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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(214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8

Replies (37) Good night (8215) Bad night (623)
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(469): View more from Texas

You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.

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(469): You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that. http://tfl.nu/9raa

Replies (12) Good night (5501) Bad night (672)
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(770): View more from Georgia

He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...

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(770): He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose... http://tfl.nu/mrqu

Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (3978)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?

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(919): Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously? http://tfl.nu/b5p0

Replies (71) Good night (2009) Bad night (6531)
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(607): View more from New York

then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"

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(607): then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother" http://tfl.nu/te5y

Replies (19) Good night (957) Bad night (4392)
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(315): View more from New York

Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.

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(315): Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication. http://tfl.nu/41jl

Replies (18) Good night (1255) Bad night (2811)
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(256): View more from Alabama

oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?

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(256): oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me? http://tfl.nu/06bl

Replies (20) Good night (1096) Bad night (5622)
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(314): View more from Missouri

You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard

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(314): You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard http://tfl.nu/m8tv

Replies (4) Good night (2254) Bad night (965)
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.

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(867): Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now. http://tfl.nu/u52e

Replies (9) Good night (892) Bad night (2036)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.

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(217): Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you. http://tfl.nu/3vuw

Replies (6) Good night (2062) Bad night (706)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.

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(812): Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding. http://tfl.nu/ofow

Replies (16) Good night (2331) Bad night (790)
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(303): View more from Colorado

exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".

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(303): exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake". http://tfl.nu/t5lj

Replies (7) Good night (565) Bad night (1300)
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(541): View more from Oregon

You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!

(503): View more from Oregon

... That's a shower caddy.

(541): View more from Oregon

I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.

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(541): You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever! (503): ... That's a shower caddy. (541): I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation. http://tfl.nu/svbx

Replies (11) Good night (3241) Bad night (583)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock

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(318): My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock http://tfl.nu/d5ea

Replies (10) Good night (1597) Bad night (287)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.

(1-678): View more from Georgia

I want to change all my life goals to that.

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(678): Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans. (1-678): I want to change all my life goals to that. http://tfl.nu/4r6x

Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (251)

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