i just made my gag reflex go away.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
