Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision

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(732): ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision http://tfl.nu/hkka

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(415): View more from California

I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.

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(415): I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made. http://tfl.nu/o1d2

Replies (20) Good night (3430) Bad night (740)
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(214): View more from Texas

I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process

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(214): I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process http://tfl.nu/ph4s

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.

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(603): Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/y50b

Replies (16) Good night (2378) Bad night (2449)
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(614): View more from Ohio

True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.

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(614): True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit. http://tfl.nu/ajyk

Replies (18) Good night (4183) Bad night (851)
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(520): View more from Arizona

while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.

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(520): while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE. http://tfl.nu/b4l7

Replies (25) Good night (4395) Bad night (1345)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She's like the pied piper of lesbians.

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(405): She's like the pied piper of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/2bl6

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(251): View more from Alabama

You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.

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(251): You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded. http://tfl.nu/84co

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(812): View more from Indiana

They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal

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(812): They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal http://tfl.nu/sgdn

Replies (4) Good night (2097) Bad night (686)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Vodka shot parachutes

(265): View more from

Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room

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(202): Vodka shot parachutes (265): Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room http://tfl.nu/h39d

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(806): View more from Texas

Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.

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(806): Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain. http://tfl.nu/iymf

Replies (16) Good night (3299) Bad night (1024)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.

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(203): Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag. http://tfl.nu/t9ek

Replies (7) Good night (1047) Bad night (1445)
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(409): View more from Texas

It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true

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(409): It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true http://tfl.nu/wq1h

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(440): View more from Ohio

literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.

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(440): literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck. http://tfl.nu/514p

Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (465)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo

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(678): I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/5itz

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