Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...

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  (405): I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ... http://tfl.nu/68st
  Replies (16) Good night (3301) Bad night (648)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  did i?

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  (732): you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?" (1-732): did i? http://tfl.nu/syum
  Replies (33) Good night (7788) Bad night (872)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.

  (631): View more from New York

  Samesies

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  (610): I can only be a whore so many days outta the week. (631): Samesies http://tfl.nu/jurs
  Replies (23) Good night (4944) Bad night (860)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I checked into jail on foursquare

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  (202): I checked into jail on foursquare http://tfl.nu/tcv9
  Replies (6) Good night (3083) Bad night (1226)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.

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  (306): No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes. http://tfl.nu/ocj3
  Replies (23) Good night (5689) Bad night (3343)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.

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  (337): Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning. http://tfl.nu/g9g5
  Replies (19) Good night (9164) Bad night (1287)
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  (876): View more from Jamaica

  After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone

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  (876): After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone http://tfl.nu/ammv
  Replies (32) Good night (8530) Bad night (1329)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out

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  (267): Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out http://tfl.nu/835w
  Replies (14) Good night (4929) Bad night (1434)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Its gonna be a symphony of fucks

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  (870): Its gonna be a symphony of fucks http://tfl.nu/8ess
  Replies (7) Good night (1718) Bad night (629)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..

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  (443): No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man.. http://tfl.nu/sort
  Replies (7) Good night (742) Bad night (1557)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.

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  (330): I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library. http://tfl.nu/xc6t
  Replies (6) Good night (1221) Bad night (474)
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  (951): View more from California

  Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving

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  (951): Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving http://tfl.nu/6fed
  Replies (5) Good night (402) Bad night (1122)
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  (209): View more from California

  DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.

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  (209): DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now. http://tfl.nu/drmi
  Replies (4) Good night (726) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET

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  (203): YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET http://tfl.nu/hmex
  Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"

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  (914): it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?" http://tfl.nu/v4gz
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (289)

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