all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize