So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
