none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
