the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
