Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights