**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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