go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?