How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants