From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You're like the curious george of whores
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
